


We Could Call It Even

by thetomkatwholived



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, But like my version of angst so it's very mild, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Seven Minutes In Heaven Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetomkatwholived/pseuds/thetomkatwholived
Summary: “David, Patrick -- he… after you left, he was a mess. And he still asks about you all the time. I… if he knew you here --”“He’d what? I haven’t been here, but he knew how to reach me. Stevie, I can’t live my life hung up on some guy I had a crush on in high school. It’s been his turn for a while now.”It's been fifteen years since David heard from Patrick, but he's back in town now. Could they get their second chance?
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Patrick Brewer/Rachel (mentioned), Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 22
Kudos: 151





	We Could Call It Even

**Author's Note:**

> The original idea nugget for this fic was really cute and fluffy. Once I started planning it out, I guess it took a bit of a turn. Maybe I'll revisit it from the fluffy lens. An AU of my AU? (I've done that before.) I don't really ever write angst, so this was a fun challenge. Huge thanks to [MJ (yourbuttervoicedbeau)](http:/yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/) for giving this a read and helping ease my anxieties about writing outside of my comfort zone.
> 
> Title from tis the damn season by Taylor Swift.

David let out a big sigh as he stared down at the doorknob of the motel office door. He never thought he’d be back here. Or, at least, he hoped he’d never be back here. He’d kept in touch with Stevie over the years, but she’d always come down to New York to visit him, since he outright refused to make the trip to see her. When his family had successfully sued Eli and gotten a substantial amount of their fortune back, David truly thought he’d never have to step foot in Schitt’s Creek again.

*******

When David was 15 and Alexis was 12, they were unceremoniously pulled from their respective private schools and dumped, along with their parents, in the town of Schitt’s Creek. As David was the technical owner of the town, they were able to live in the rundown motel on the edge of town for next to nothing. The two children didn’t know much about what had happened, both deemed too young to be given full details. The gist seemed to be that their father’s business manager had neglected to pay taxes and ran off with a large chunk of their fortune, leaving the rest of their assets to be seized by the government. Moira had recently been written off of Sunrise Bay and was still too well known as Vivian Blake to get any other roles yet. They were left with no savings and no way to make money.

And so they remained in the town, David and Alexis attending the local public schools as their parents became embroiled in a legal case to try to salvage their wealth and reputations. As much as David and Alexis tried to ignore those few years spent in Schitt’s Creek, there was no denying that they both began to fit in in ways they hadn’t expected.

Alexis had become close friends with Twyla, a girl her age with a personality that was far too sunny and bubbly for someone from her circumstance. She’d also developed a crush, and subsequent relationship, with a boy named Ted in the grade above her. David knew she still spoke to both of them all these years later.

David, on the other hand, had taken a bit longer to find his footing, but soon found genuine friendship with Stevie, who worked part time at the motel. After a few ill-advised hookups and an awkward readjustment period, the two became nearly inseparable. He’d become acquainted with a few more people, but only Stevie really stuck as a friend in the long run. Well, there had been one other person, but David tried to push that person out of his mind despite his near constant presence there.

Despite these formed bonds, when the court case was won in the middle of David’s senior year, and most of the family’s fortune was restored, neither child had to be persuaded too hard to return to the luxe life they had enjoyed before.

*******

Now, almost fifteen years later, David stood in front of the Schitt’s Creek Motel office. He’d only just learned that his whole professional life had been a lie, with his parents purchasing almost all of his gallery’s patrons and a majority of the artists as well. Not only that, but his latest romantic partner had taken one look at him wallowing in bed and proclaimed him “beautiful in a tragic way, but not something to be directly dealt with.”

When Stevie picked up his call, he was hiccuping out his sobs, and she’d immediately insisted he needed to get away. The next day, he’d booked a ticket up to Canada and worked on packing up as much of his life as he could fit in his luxury suitcases.

Finally having steeled himself enough, David opened the door, to be met with a bored and distracted Stevie sitting behind the front desk. The office had barely changed in his time away, although the computer did appear to be closer to ten years old than fifteen.

“Do you have a reservation?” Stevie was focused on her screen, probably in the midst of an intense game of solitaire.

“Um, no.” Stevie’s head snapped up at David's voice. “My snarky best friend works here and said she’d figure it out for me.”

Stevie’s smile was as radiant as he’d ever seen it, and his heart ached a bit to be around someone so genuinely happy to see him. “I think I can make that happen.”

*******

After Stevie got all the logistics figured out, she put up the “Back in 5 Minutes” sign and helped David bring his things to his room, making sure to frequently remind him that this was a one time helpful gesture. She would not be providing any other forms of assistance during his move-in process.

As David organized his clothes, pleased to see the cedar chest Mutt had built for him in high school had been kept safe and placed in his room, Stevie updated him on the inner workings of the town.

“Twyla basically runs the cafe now, which makes so much sense. I’m not sure anyone else has the patience to deal with all of us everyday. Roland’s still mayor, but he’s mellowed out a bit so it’s not that bad. And Ronnie got elected to council last election so she keeps him in line. Um, oh, a new vet came into town a couple years ago, but most people still go to Ted out of loyalty. Let’s see…” She trailed off as she tried to remember more town gossip.

“Um, so it sounds like the gang’s all doing well. They’ve all, uh, settled down and such.” He swallowed and avoided eye contact, hoping he wasn’t too obvious.

“He’s not still with her. They broke up a few more times over the years, but he ended it for good about six months ago.”

“Mm, that’s what he said before too. They’ll find their way back.” David picked at a fuzz on one of his sweaters and tried to hide the emotion in his voice.

“David, Patrick -- he… after you left, he was a mess. And he still asks about you all the time. I… if he knew you here --”

“He’d what? I haven’t been here, but he knew how to reach me. Stevie, I can’t live my life hung up on some guy I had a crush on in high school. It’s been his turn for a while now.” David shut his cedar chest, satisfied that his knits were in order. “Now, I think I’m going to go to the cafe and have some lunch. Would you like to join me?”

Stevie silently nodded.

*******

Patrick had barreled into David’s life on his first day at Schitt’s Creek High School. He was in a number of David’s classes and made it a point to smile at him at the beginning of each of them. Like, he realized David was new so he just… smiled at him as a friendly greeting. And, sure, it was a damn good smile that made David’s stomach take several flips each time the full force of it was directed at him, but it was still weird.

Later that first day, when Stevie had dropped into a seat across from him at lunch, David was only mildly surprised. He’d immediately taken to her sarcastic attitude when they’d met over the weekend. She seemed to be a bit too sharp for this town, and he liked her for that. He related to that.

“Why does that guy keep smiling at me?” Stevie turned towards the table David had indicated, both catching Patrick mid-laugh, his face lighting up and his curls lightly bouncing. A slight redheaded girl next to him gazed up at him as though he hung the moon. David had a fleeting thought that he understood before chasing it away.

“Oh, Patrick? Yeah, he’s what would be termed as ‘nice.’ It’s not so weird once you get to know him.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” Stevie turned back to David, and he reluctantly drew his eyes back to Stevie.

“Know him?”

“I mean, everyone kind of knows everyone. It’s a small town and an even smaller high school. But yeah, I guess we’re friends. I did the musical last semester and he was in it too.” Stevie shrugged and began to eat her sandwich.

“So he’s smiling at me because he’s nice?” David couldn’t wrap his head around it, too used to the vaguely rude aloofness of New York.

“I guess, probably. He probably just wants you to feel welcome. I don’t know, Patrick’s like that.” 

“Weird.” Stevie nodded in agreement, still focused on her lunch. “And, uh, who’s the girl?”

She swallowed a bite of her sandwich, looking confused. “Rachel? She’s like his best friend or whatever. It’s super obvious how into him she is, but he’s kind of oblivious to it. But they’re inevitable.”

David twirled a carrot stick between his fingers. He didn’t know this Patrick guy so it shouldn’t be such a blow to hear that. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s a small town and people don’t really leave here. Our parents’ generation basically all married their high school sweethearts, so we probably will too.”

“But you said they’re not dating.”

Stevie rolled her eyes as if that was a stupid thing to say. “They’re not dating yet. Patrick only really cares about sports and music right now, but once he wants to makeout with someone, she’s gonna be his first choice. Why do you care so much, anyway?”

“I don’t. I just figure I should be up to date on all the gossip if I’m going to survive here.”

Stevie hummed, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

Patrick had introduced himself later that day, and David fought against the butterflies that threatened to take flight at his smooth voice and amber eyes. He’d offered his hand to shake, which David thought was weird for a tenth grader, but he returned the handshake, appreciating his strong hands.

They’d become kind of friends. Patrick’s locker was next to Stevie’s, so the three would often converse before school started, which then led to Patrick occasionally joining them for lunch. They’d talk before their shared classes, and in classes where Rachel or Stevie weren’t present, they’d team up for projects. Patrick had even convinced David to come to some of his baseball games. He had to have Stevie explain almost every aspect of the game to him, but he reveled in Patrick’s delighted smile and wave every time he saw them in the stands.

When David realized he was falling hard for Patrick, he’d tried to ignore it and push it away, which ultimately led to him and Stevie hooking up towards the end of the year and then awkwardly rebuilding their friendship all summer. Thankfully, Patrick had gone away to camp for most of the summer, so he didn’t have to witness most of that mess. 

When he’d come back, he’d gotten a bit taller, his shoulders had gotten a lot broader, and David had fallen a lot harder. Unfortunately for David’s ill-fated crush (or maybe fortunately), he’d also gotten together with Rachel over the summer. So… that was that. Patrick and Rachel had embraced their inevitability.

*******

David and Stevie plopped into a booth at the cafe, and David gave a small laugh at the menus, somehow even bigger than he remembered.

“Hey, Stevie. Aren’t you supposed to be at the motel?” Twyla seemed the same, still unassumingly pretty and a bit too cheerful.

Stevie waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, but no one’s scheduled to check in. Plus, I couldn’t leave David to fend for himself.”

Twyla turned to David with delighted surprise. “Oh, David! Alexis mentioned you were heading back, but I didn’t know it would be so soon! How wonderful!” She was practically bouncing with excitement.

“Hi, yeah. Um, it’s nice to see you again. Alexis was adamant I find you as soon as possible.” It wasn’t necessarily true, but Alexis had excitedly told David to check on Twyla and Ted while he was there.

“It’s so nice to see you!”

They ordered their food, trying to keep Twyla’s excitement at bay. Once she left, promises of a complimentary dessert making David feel a bit more comfortable with her reaction, Stevie glanced towards the door, her eyes widening with dread.

“What? What’s over there? What do you --” He turned, Stevie protesting in a loud whisper and trying to physically stop him with a hand on his arm. “Oh.”

He looked completely different but somehow still the same. His hair was shorter, but it still had a slight curl to the top. The blue sweater he wore highlighted his still impressive shoulders, now with arms to match. And of course, Patrick’s smile was still heart-stoppingly beautiful.

David watched him lean against the counter and laugh at something Twyla said. He only lingered on his ass for a moment, just long enough to fully appreciate its glory in the tight jeans Patrick was wearing.

Something inside David ached. He’d been with countless people since last seeing Patrick, and he’d reached a place where he barely thought about him anymore, at least when he was alert and sober. But seeing him again, here, right in front of him, made him ache.

Eyes still on Patrick, he cleared his throat. “He, uh, he looks good. He looks happy.” He found the strength to tear his eyes away and look back at Stevie. In a whisper, he asked, “Is he happy?”

“I… don’t know. I think so. He wasn’t, for a while at the end of his relationship with Rachel. But he does seem happier now.”

David nodded and looked back at Patrick, wanting to commit this new Patrick to memory. He wanted to stop remembering the Patrick who hurt him and only know this Patrick who seemed so far removed. As he was tracing the lines of his back with his eyes, Patrick turned around, almost immediately meeting his gaze. As much as David wanted to be embarrassed, he was too overwhelmed by the full force of Patrick’s loud eyes to react accordingly.

Somehow, Patrick was now right in front of him, a disbelieving smile overtaking his face. “David. I -- you -- when did you come back?”

“To-today. I got in today.”

Patrick smiled wider and dug his hands into his pockets, a surprising feat considering the tightness of his jeans. “Wow. It’s so great to see you. I, uh, always wanted to reach out, but I wasn’t sure you’d wanna hear from me.”

How could David communicate that he both never wanted to hear from Patrick again and still somehow speak to him all the time? The ache grew stronger.

“Patrick? I have your food.” Twyla appeared over Patrick’s shoulder, a hero in paisley, holding out his takeout with an oblivious smile.

“Oh, thanks, Twyla. I should get going anyway. But, David, I’d love to catch up sometime, if you want?” He looked so damn hopeful.

David didn’t have an answer, so he just gaped at Patrick, who chuckled and left with a wave. Once he was out the door, David slammed his head on the table with a groan.

*******

It was January of David’s senior year and he was about to get out of Schitt’s Creek for good. His family’s money had been restored, so almost two years after landing in this town, they were able to return to their lavish lifestyle.

Somehow, Alexis had charmed Mutt into hosting a going away party for them in the barn his family owned. It wasn’t a huge party, owed mostly to the tiny population of Schitt’s Creek, but almost the whole high school had made an appearance at some point.

Alexis was holding court with her underclass friends outside, all of them bundled up and chatting around a small bonfire. David was inside, sticking mostly with Stevie and Patrick all night. 

Patrick and Rachel had broken up for the second time at the beginning of December, so he’d been around a lot more. David was sure the playful banter they usually had hadn’t elevated itself to flirty banter, but Stevie kept claiming she felt like a third wheel when they were all together. As much as David wanted to lean into that, he brushed it off, sure it was nothing, just Patrick dealing with his breakup.

But that night at the party had been charged in some new way. Patrick was finding excuses to touch David. Leading him around with a hand on his back, squeezing his arm as he laughed at a joke, brushing lint off his shoulder a few too many times to be believable. And he was smiling at David all night. Big, dopey smiles that shot right to David’s heart.

Someone, probably Jake, had suggested 7 Minutes in Heaven. David laughed along as his classmates were paired off and shut in the little closet at the back of the barn. Stevie had come out of her 7 minutes with Jake looking smug and a bit rumpled. As David smirked at her, he heard his name called.

“David, the man of the night! Let’s see who the lucky person is.” Jake drew a name from the small bowl on the table, chuckling softly as he read it to himself. “Patrick.”

Suddenly, they were both pushed into the closet, the door shutting as Jake yelled, “Have fun, you two!”

It was dark in there, but David could still make out Patrick’s face. He reached up to pull the string attached to the lightbulb above, but a hand on his arm softly pushed it back down. Without warning, he was crowded up against the door, Patrick strong and solid against him.

Both of their breaths were shallow, and Patrick’s hand moved from David’s arm to grip his hand while his other hand lightly caressed the side of David’s face. All David could hear was the beat of his own heart as Patrick’s face inched ever closer.

With barely a centimeter of space between their lips, Patrick’s voice broke through the pounding in David’s head, “David. I’m going to miss you so much.”

David couldn’t take it anymore, his unheld hand lifting up to grasp the back of Patrick’s neck and pull him in for an electric kiss. It was all-consuming. They seemed to fit together perfectly, both pushing into the kiss with equal fervor. Patrick gasped out a moan, and David took advantage of his parted mouth to slip his tongue in, deepening the kiss. 

Patrick’s hands were all over, hastily exploring anywhere he could reach, snaking under David’s sweater, grasping at his shoulders, even, at one glorious moment, kneading his ass. As much as David also wanted to explore, he kept his hands cupping Patrick’s face, reveling in the feel of him, so real and solid between his hands.

It was the most emotional David had ever felt while kissing someone, both pouring years of feelings into the embrace. 

All too soon, the warning knock came, startling them both. Patrick pulled away, although it looked like it greatly pained him, and began straightening out David’s clothes. David was so struck by this action, fondness overtaking him as he tilted Patrick’s head up for one last lingering kiss.

“I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered once they separated. Patrick opened his eyes, and David was pained to see such sadness behind his desire.

Before David could try to chase away that sadness, the door opened, and he stumbled backwards, Patrick catching him with a strong arm around his waist. They walked back to their seats, ignoring the wolf-whistles and Stevie’s questioning looks.

Patrick had driven David home that night, insisting he’d stopped drinking early enough in the night to drive. They stayed silent for most of the journey, but Patrick held David’s hand the whole way. When they pulled up to the motel, Patrick turned to David, tears in his eyes, and leaned in for a slow, lingering kiss. David’s heart nearly broke as he felt a tear roll down Patrick’s cheek.

Patrick pulled away to rest his forehead against David’s. “I’m going to miss you, David.” It was almost a sob.

David nodded, an awkward endeavor in their current state, but the only response he could muster. He trailed a finger under Patrick’s eye, catching a tear.

They stayed like that for a few more moments.

“I need to go. We have an early start tomorrow.” David pulled back slowly, using all his willpower to not stay there with Patrick.

Patrick nodded quickly, sadly. David got out of the car, leaving a little piece of his heart behind.

*******

“He’s not allowed to look that good. He’s not allowed to do what he did, make me live with that for fifteen years, and then reenter my life looking that good.” David was fussing as he and Stevie took a walk around town. Most of it was the same, save for the “going out of business” signs in the general store windows and the tennis courts having been renamed in Ronnie’s honor.

“If it makes you feel any better, he lives with Ray.”

David sputtered, “Like, romantically?!” Why would news of Patrick in a committed relationship with a man who wasn’t him make him feel better?

Stevie huffed out a surprised laugh. “No, not romantically. Like, as a roommate. After he broke it off with Rachel, he moved back here and got a room with him.”

“Where were he and Rachel?”

“Toronto, I think. He was an accountant, but he hated it. Now he just does odd business tasks for Ray and avoids his parents.” 

That was odd. Patrick had always been close to his parents. “Why is he avoiding his parents?”

Stevie sighed. “I don’t know. Whatever happened with Rachel must have fucked some things up or whatever. We haven’t really talked much since he moved back either. If you want to know so badly, you could just ask him.”

David barked out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, okay. ‘Hey Patrick, remember how you broke my heart and didn’t talk to me for fifteen years? How about we forget about that and you unload all your parental and personal issues on me.’ I’ll pass, thanks.”

“He’d tell you. He’s missed you, and I think he wants to make things right.”

“Okay. So he can be the one to reach out.”

Stevie stopped, prompting David to stop too. She turned to look him straight in the eyes. “Look. All I know is that he was never the same after you left. He tried to go back to how it had been, but something always seemed off. He did the whole college thing and then came back here, Rachel in tow. They broke up a couple more times and then moved to Toronto a few years back, where I’m sure they broke up some more. And never, not once in those years, have I ever seen him look as alive as he did back in high school. Not until today, when he saw you.”

“He hurt me.”

“I think he hurt himself, too.”

*******

David had been back in New York for a whole day before he got the courage to check his email. He thought maybe everything had been a dream, or now that he had left, none of his friends from Schitt’s Creek would want anything to do with him.

In his inbox, he found an email apiece from Stevie and Patrick waiting for him. Patrick’s had arrived almost a day ago, probably right around the time David was boarding the plane back to New York. Stevie’s was much more recent, having come in a couple hours ago. His heart gave a little leap as he smiled at the evidence that people cared about him and missed him.

With shaky hands, he clicked on Patrick’s email.

Dear David,

You’re probably about to get on your plane, and I wish I had the means and ability to rush to the airport and stop you. I know you love Love Actually, and I’d happily be the Sam to your Joanna. But you’re leaving, and I can’t stop you.

Is your heart also hurting? Do you also feel like something is missing? Maybe that’s too real or whatever. I just miss you a lot already, and I wish I had more time with you. I wish I’d gotten my courage a lot sooner.

Don’t forget about me, please. I’ll be up here in Schitt’s Creek, thinking about you all the time and I just hope you’re not down there in New York forgetting about me. Call me sometime soon.

From my aching heart,  
Patrick

David wished it had been a physical letter so he could hug it close to his heart and hide it away under his pillow. Maybe he’d print it out and keep it in his wallet to remember the most romantic things ever said to him.

He fought the urge to immediately call Patrick and opened Stevie’s email. It was short, only two sentences:

David, call me ASAP, and I mean ASAP. Before you call Patrick, I mean it!

*******

David settled back into life in Schitt’s Creek fairly easily. He spent his days harassing Stevie in the office and writing in his journal in the park. He ate his meals at the cafe since he had no way to cook, but that was fine by him. The burgers were greasy, the sandwiches had substance, and a side of fries could be added to any meal. Occasionally, he’d peer into the General Store, taking in the beautiful fixtures and wood floors, lamenting the wasted potential of the space.

As he walked down the main street with Stevie, ranting about how he could make the space better, his hands flailing wildly, he saw Patrick leaving the General Store, a folio clutched in his hand. He was in a similar outfit to the one he wore the other day: a light blue button-up and tight, dark jeans. David stopped mid-sentence hands poised next to his head.

Patrick glanced their way, did a double-take, and smiled and waved. Realizing his hands were still up, David slowly lowered them and glanced away, hoping he could just ignore his problem and make it go away. As he saw Patrick begin to jog towards them, he realized he had no such luck.

“Hey, guys! Great to see you. I was just at a meeting in the General Store. I’m helping Josie tie up some loose ends before they close down next week.” Patrick did not appear to be having the same mental battles David was waging.

“What’s she gonna do next?” Stevie, thankfully, stepped in.

“Well, she’s looking into maybe going back into teaching. She did it when she was younger, and the high school is looking for some new English faculty.”

“Yeah, I could see her being good at that.” Stevie then got a look that David knew only meant trouble. “What’s gonna happen to the space?”

“Good question! The council is currently looking into new proposals, but nothing’s really been too promising. There’s rumblings about a Christmas World location, apparently.”

David scoffed involuntarily, drawing Patrick’s attention over to him. His smile should be illegal. No one should be able to break your heart, take up residence in your brain for fifteen years, and then shoulder their way back in with such a charming smile.

“Not a fan of Christmas World, David?” Patrick’s eyes widened, his tone radiating faux innocence.

“Year-round Christmas stores are tacky. And that space has so much potential. It would be appalling to turn it into some kind of garish Santa’s village.” David’s horror over Christmas World seemed to have won out over his insistence on ignoring Patrick.

“Oh, and what would you do?”

“I’d… well… I think it could be a sort of general store again, but more specific. A place to showcase local artisans and craftspeople. With a muted color scheme and tasteful decor. And there could be events, like craft nights or wine tastings. It would provide essentials and more while supporting local artists.” David cleared his throat. “Or something like that.”

Patrick had what could only be classified as a fond smile. “Huh, sounds like you’ve given it some thought.” David shrugged. “Well, I think that’s a good idea. Very inventive. I’d love to work with you on a more concrete plan that you could present to council.”

“Hm, so would you actually follow through on that? Or would you get me all excited about it, ready for that next step, and then run back to Josie at the last minute?”

Silence fell, and Patrick at least had the good sense to look embarrassed. He looked down at his shoes and addressed his statement to them. “I don’t… I’m not a scared seventeen year old anymore. I’m done taking the easy way out and letting down the people I care about.”

“Mm.” David nodded slowly. “Well, that would’ve been nice fifteen years ago. I’ll see you around, Patrick.” He breezed by Patrick, leaving him dejected on the curb, Stevie rushing to catch up.

*******

“David?!” Stevie sounded frantic.

“Yes, it’s me. Have you just been yelling that at anyone who called you?”

“Only one other call came through, but yes. Have you called Patrick yet?”

“No, you told me not to. And you better have a really good reason as to why because he sent me a very romantic message, and I’d very much like to follow up.” David twisted the phone cord around his finger, thankful that he had his own line once again. No danger of Alexis or his parents interrupting him.

“David. He’s back with Rachel.”

David stopped breathing. He collapsed onto his bed, the weight of Stevie’s words pushing him down. “What? No, that’s… that’s crazy. He emailed me all these things about missing me and wishing he’d made a move sooner and… he… he wanted me.”

“I saw them. At the cafe. They were eating lunch and she grabbed his hand and he didn’t fight it.”

“Okay, well, that could have been a friend thing. Or him being too polite.”

“They were laughing. And he kissed her as they were leaving.”

David’s voice was almost silent as he asked: “He kissed her?”

“I’m so sorry, David.”

“Maybe you just misinterpreted it. Or it wasn’t Patrick. Or… or…” He broke off into a warbled sob.

“I wanted you to know before you spoke to him. I wanted you to be prepared.”

David nodded, even though Stevie couldn’t see him. He hung up, his heart heavy, and dialled Patrick’s home phone.

“Hello, Brewer residence?”

David did his best to school his voice into something calm and stable. “Hi, Mrs. Brewer. Um, is Patrick there? It’s, uh, David.”

“Oh, David! He’s been waiting for your call! He’s out with Rachel, but I can take a message and have him call you back?” 

David’s blood ran cold. “Oh, no, that’s--”

“There he is! He just walked through the door! Patrick, it’s David!”

There was some shuffling and then a small, “Hello?”

“Sorry to call out of the blue like this, did I interrupt your date?”

“Um, mom, I’m gonna take the call in my room.” A moment later, Patrick’s voice came through again. “Okay, mom, I’ve got it.” 

“Stevie told me some interesting things she saw today. I wanted to call you as soon as I could, but she insisted I call her first. And I’m glad I did.”

“David, I--”

“So what happened in the 20 or so hours between now and your email? Because I was under the impression you wanted to be with me. Or at least try to be with me. But apparently, something happened to make you get back with your ex.” David was still sad, but he was getting more and more angry by the second.

“I… David, you left. You left and I could barely breathe.”

“So you got back together with your ex?!”

“What was I supposed to do?” Patrick took a deep breath. “Was I supposed to sit here pining away while you dove right back into New York life and found some new person who could be what you wanted and needed? And I would be left up here with my broken heart?”

“So you decided to break my heart instead?” David’s voice cracked on the last word.

“David. I don’t know how to explain it. I just… I’m so scared. And I have no idea how to come out or even what I would come out as. Isn’t it just easier this way?”

“This is only easier for you. You come out of this with a girlfriend and no hard conversations and your golden boy image intact. What do I get? A broken heart and one more person who let me down. I just never thought you’d be added to that list.”

“Dav--”

“No, you know what? This is done. Don’t call me, don’t email me, don’t write to me. You made your decision and it wasn’t me and I don’t want to keep talking to someone so ready and willing to hurt me. Have a nice life, Patrick.” David hung up before Patrick could respond.

*******

“David, we need to talk about it.”

“Talk about what? There’s nothing to talk about.”

David and Stevie were sprawled out in his room, both high from a massive joint Stevie had somehow procured.

“Are you going to hate him forever?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

Stevie sighed and rolled over until she made eye contact with David. “Because he’s so clearly in love with you and just trying to make things right.”

David swallowed. “Um. Ignoring that first part. He hasn’t tried to apologize or anything.”

“You’re not really giving him a chance. Is he gonna pour his heart out in the cafe? Atone for his sins in the middle of the street? He wanted to help you make a business plan. Patrick’s love language is spreadsheets.”

“He had fifteen years to apologize.”

“David, you told him not to contact you. He was trying to respect your wishes by staying away.”

“Well, he should know I didn’t fully mean it!” David burrowed his head into his sweater, trying to escape this conversation.

Stevie’s reply was muffled. “David, he probably thought the only way he could possibly keep an ounce of goodwill with you was by respecting that.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I never said he was bright.” Stevie coaxed David’s head out of his sweater. “Just let him explain. Let him apologize. If you still wanna be mad at him, you can be. But hear what he has to say. He’s been beating himself up over this for a decade and a half.”

“Good, he should.” David crossed his arms like a petulant child.

“David,” Stevie warned.

He softened. “Fine. Once I’m a bit more sober, I will go see him.”

*******

A couple hours later, David could barely feel his high, and Stevie practically pushed him out of the door and watched him until he made it to Ray’s house. He could have just ran from this point, but he was so tired and just wanted to get whatever was about to happen over with.

He knocked quickly, hoping that no one was home, although the Camry in the driveway that had seen better days told a different story.

The door was pulled open to reveal Patrick, dressed down in sweatpants and a thin college t-shirt. He looked surprised and confused to see David at his door.

“Can I come in?”

Patrick broke out of his haze. “Yes. Yeah, of course.” He stepped back to let David in. “Can I get you anything? Water, soda?”

“Um, a water would be great.”

“Of course. Um, take a seat in the living room, and I’ll be right in.”

David awkwardly perched himself on a sofa, making sure there was ample room for Patrick to sit on the same sofa but not be too close. When Patrick walked in with two glasses, David accepted his with a small smile, taking a sip before placing it on a coaster and staring at it while Patrick sat down on the other side of the couch.

“So, uh --”

“I was in love with you. I may still be in love with you, but I’m not sure because you won’t talk to me. And I used to love talking to you, and I think I still would. But I was in love with you. I realized maybe three months after we started hanging out. I didn’t know what it really meant to be queer. I knew you were so open and sure of yourself, and I knew I wasn’t. But I also knew that I only ever felt anything for you. But you… hooked up with Stevie. And that made sense, you guys were such a good fit. So I figured that was my sign to get over it, and when Rachel pursued me, I let it happen. I thought maybe I could love her like I loved you. I tried so hard with her.”

David grabbed his water, needing to focus on something else that wasn’t the hammering in his heart or the vibrating in his veins.

“I couldn’t make the feelings go away, David. And I couldn’t love her the same. When we ended up in that closet together, I thought it was fate giving me that final push. So I just went for it, and suddenly everything made sense. And you were leaving. I’d finally figured it out and taken that leap, but you were leaving. I didn’t know what you wanted from me. I thought maybe we could have some romantic correspondence and we’d wait for each other. I sent you that email so sure it was the beginning of something.”

“I wanted it to be,” David squeaked out.

Patrick gave a wet laugh that sounded more like a sob. “Then the guys got me all riled up. They were talking about all the hot people you were going to be hanging out with in New York. All the models and actors and socialites who would run in your circles. And all I could think about was how on earth I could compete with that. They kept pushing me about Rachel, and being vaguely homophobic and I got scared. Was I ready to come out? Come out as what? And what if I did and it changed everything and then you decided you didn’t want me because you could have an Olsen twin or whatever? I was in the middle of that spiral when Rachel texted me. She didn’t know, how could she have known? But she wanted me and she was there and I was her best option. So I was a coward. And I lost you.”

“Why did you stay with her? All these years?” David’s voice was small.

Patrick gave a shrug and sad smile. “It was easy, I guess. I didn’t have to be something outside of what was expected of me. And I didn’t feel anything for anyone even remotely close to how I felt about you. But you weren’t here. And you didn’t want to hear from me. So I chose what was easy. I was scared. You weren’t an option for me, David.”

“I would have been. I could have been.”

Slowly, Patrick turned towards David, a disbelieving look on his face. “You told me to never contact you again. I’d already broken so much of your trust, I wasn’t about to do it some more. So no, David, you couldn’t have been an option. I know you’ve made me out to be the villain in this story, and I deserve a lot of that, but if part of why you’re mad at me is that I didn’t reach out after that phone call? I can’t… That’s the only thing I did right in this whole mess.”

That pulled David up short. All this time, he had viewed Patrick as awful; awful for going back to Rachel and then awful for never trying to make things right. But David had told him not to contact him. He’d put up that barrier and Patrick was only trying to respect that.

“I want you back in my life, and I want to be back in yours. All I’ve ever wanted was to be someone to you. And I think I can live with my pining if you’ll at least let me be your friend again and forgive me for being a coward. But I’m not going to apologize for respecting your wishes, not when it kills me everyday.”

“You’re right.” David huffed it out, barely a whisper.

“I’m sorry, I’m what?” Patrick’s eyes were wide with surprise.

“You’re right. I’ve been mad at you all this time for not reaching out to me and trying to make it right. I think I thought you were supposed to make some grand gesture of apology or something, like in a movie. But I told you not to talk to me.” David stood, too overwhelmed at this realization. Stevie had tried to tell him, and he brushed it off because surely Patrick knew he was supposed to pursue it further. But Patrick wasn’t going to cross that boundary, not without express permission.

Patrick stood as well, looking concerned.

“I was in love with you too. And I’ve spent all these years trying to chase that feeling, trying to get back that spark I had with you. All the while thinking you were some terrible person who cast me aside as soon as you could. But I was still so in love with you.” David gave a gasping laugh.

Before David could even finish his laugh, Patrick was on him, pushing him back with the sheer force of his kiss. He kissed like a man starved, like David was the only lifeline, and it set David’s blood on fire. Before he could respond in kind, Patrick was pulling back, hands up in surrender and eyes wide.

“I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have --”

Whatever Patrick shouldn’t have done would never be voiced because David gave a frustrated growl and pulled him back in. They still had so much to figure out, but dammit all if this wasn’t the most right David had felt since that last moment in Patrick’s car all those years ago.

Pulling back, reveling in Patrick’s little whimper at the loss, David pushed him down on the couch, sprawling him out as he looked up at David with wild eyes. David had never felt sexier or more wanted than with those eyes on him. 

David crawled on top of him, straddling his lap. Patrick’s hands landed on his hips, looking up at him as if he were something mythical, something too special to be held in his hands. Settling his hands behind Patrick’s ears, David bent to rest his forehead on Patrick’s, to brush their noses, to make this feel real.

Patrick moved his head slightly to mouth along David’s jaw, and David felt a full-body shiver grip him. He’d never been handled like this, like he was something precious. He let out a stuttering breath. 

Making his way up his jaw, Patrick teased David’s earlobe between his teeth, lightly, just enough to draw a moan from David.

“Fuck, David. You’re incredible,” Patrick whispered it, lips brushing against David’s ear, tickling him with his words.

All he could do was gasp out, “Patrick!”

But that was all Patrick needed, recapturing David’s mouth, slotting their lips back together like they were made to fit against one another. Nothing had ever felt so fulfilling, not any drug or sexual experience, as being here with Patrick, all their past mistakes aired out, no obligations or distance to stop them. He was so real and solid and here, under David, in his hands, seeping back into his being. 

Patrick babbled between long kisses, about David’s height (“you’re tall, David. God, you tower over me, come here”) and his weight (“but not like that, David, not like that! You’re just so solid and strong and --”) and his general physical presence (“I can’t believe you’re here, I can’t believe you’re in my lap and want me”). Normally, David didn’t want those kinds of words interrupting these kinds of moments, preferring to lose himself in the feelings of lust and desire. But this was Patrick, and David wanted to hear all he had to say. He was giggling in those pauses, so overwhelmed and having actual fun, something he wasn’t sure he’d had in these kinds of intimate situations in so long.

At one point, David shifted in such a way that their fronts aligned, both achingly hard. David gave an experimental thrust down, delighting in Patrick’s choked-off groan.

“Fuck, David, that’s so good. But we can’t here, not on this couch. Ray makes me watch The Bachelor with him here every week, and I’m already gonna have a hard enough time not getting awkwardly turned on just from what we’ve already done.”

And David laughed. He threw his head back and laughed. It wasn’t a rejection, not in the way he was so used to. This wasn’t Patrick telling him there wasn’t anything else he wanted to do, he wasn’t pushing him away for being too eager or too broken or too boring. If anything, he was pushing him away for being too hot.

Through a laugh, Patrick huffed out, “What? What’s so funny?”

“I’m just imagining you having to have roommate bonding nights with Ray on this couch after I’ve defiled you on it.”

“I feel like defiled implies I didn’t enthusiastically want it. If anything, we’ve defiled each other on this couch.”

“Mm, have fun with that thought while you hang with Ray and Chris Harrison this week.”

“Oh, I will, David. I promise you I will.” Patrick smirked, and David felt like another piece of him fall back into place at seeing that smirk.

David swept a thumb across Patrick’s cheekbone, caressing it lightly as they gazed at each other. The heat had dissipated, but their attraction hadn’t. It was electric and it crackled in the small space between them.

Some time later, maybe whole hours, maybe mere seconds, David crawled out of Patrick’s lap, with as much grace as he could muster. When he flopped next to Patrick, lacking any of that grace he so desperately strove for, Patrick immediately tucked him into his side, making sure their sides aligned.

“I still wanna help you with your store idea, David.” Patrick said it offhandedly as he stroked over David’s shoulder.

“What?” 

“Your general but specific store idea. You’re right, Christmas World is a dumb idea, especially for here. But we have so many creatives around here that have to rely on sporadic craft fairs and word of mouth. Your store could really be something special.” Patrick’s eyes were loud and sincere.

“I know this isn’t your intention, but you’re getting me all worked up again.”

Patrick laughed, unbidden and beautiful. “I’m serious!”

“So am I!” David turned his head, pressing a kiss to Patrick’s shoulder. “You think it has legs?”

“I think you have legs.” Patrick gave a truly lascivious visual sweep of David’s lower half.

“Hey, now I’m the one who’s serious!”

“And so am I! Because, David, once we have time and space I really need to fully appreciate those legs.” Horny Patrick and Business Patrick didn’t seem to be able to peacefully coexist. David would have to work on that if they were going to start working together.

“First of all, yes, all of that. But you brought this up, so answer my question.”

“So bossy.” David gave Patrick’s shoulder a small bite at that. “I think it’s exactly what we need and I also think you’re the only person who could pull it off.”

David groaned. “Ugh, I wanna take you apart.”

“If me complimenting your capability is going to be such a turn-on, this may be harder than I thought.” David opened his mouth to respond, but Patrick held up a hand. “Nope, I heard it. And I guess I did get distracted too.”

“I personally think it’ll just make things way more exciting. Does the store space have a backroom?” David wiggling his eyebrows.

Patrick snorted a laugh. “How about this: we’ll work on a plan, get it ready to present to council as soon as possible. But we’ll make sure to break up our work every so often so you can, uh, take me apart.” The blush that spread over Patrick’s face delighted David.

“I could be amenable to that. But not today. I’m not sure I’m in that headspace just yet. Let me sit with it.”

“Sounds fair. But, uh, in the meantime, while you sit with it, can I take you on that date I’ve been fantasizing about for seventeen years?” Patrick looked so cautiously hopeful, somehow still unsure of David’s answer, even after all that.

“Yes, please, finally.” Patrick laughed, ducking in to press another kiss to David’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I should go back to avoiding angst and ~steamy~ stuff, or, alternatively, if I should continue to try new things. Or don't, live your life. Feel free to find me on Tumblr at [theswiftiewholived](https://theswiftiewholived.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
